Money, like everything else attract people.
Women (or men) caring about money doesn’t make them shallow or a golddigger, it’s just a rational piece of the dating puzzle.
The root of the question, whether money attracts women, the answer is definitely yes. Having more money is going to be more attractive than having less money if all else is equal. Money isn’t the most important factor in attracting dating though. In fact its probably not in the top five for most women.
Women like guys with money because they can provide something that the women doesn’t have or doesn’t get from most other men. A guy that can take her nice places and do fun, and expensive, things is going to be far more exciting that a guy who’s broke.
There is also the benefit of being able to provide for her and a potential family. This comes in to play even in a short term relationship or hookup. Guys who can provide resources, even on a short term basis, are attractive. Even in a short term situation or a casual relationship where there is no real plan to get married or start a family, some part of her probably thinks about this possibility. She may not want to marry you, but she likes knowing that if she did you’d be able to provide.
A much bigger factor in my experience is the confidence that comes with money. There is a chicken and egg phenomenon when it comes to money and confidence. People who are more confident usually make a more money, when people have more money, it boosts their confidence. Confidence is highly attractive to women, they want to be with the leader of the pack, the guy who can assert themselves and establish status.
In my life, this has been a back and forth. When I have a big win, even if it isn’t related to money, I feel more confident and secure, that confidence makes me more ambitious, outgoing, sociable, and attractive. You can build confidence in yourself without having money, you just need to find something that you believe in and care about. You could be a broke artist that loves what they do and feels good about their work, women will be attracted to this, even though your broke.
In dating though money does play a role, and it doesn’t make either party shallow. Realistically people want to be with someone that they can have fun with and share exciting moments with. Even though a lot of the best things in life are free, there are a lot of really good things that are expensive. You can boost a relationship and build excitement with a little extra cash.
We often rate things on an arbitrary scale, assigning a value on a 1–10 scale. The reality though is that assigning a point value is meaningless, everything boils down to three categories.
- Reject- If you go to a restaurant you hate giving it 1 or 2 stars out of five is meaningless, all that matters is that you don’t like it and don’t want to come back. If you go on a bad first date, you either want to see the person again or you don’t, there differentiating between two things you don’t like is meaningless.
- Open- This is the middle section. This is everything that we are willing to do in the right scenario or are open to. I don’t love McDonalds, but if I need something fast and cheap, I’ll go there because it’s good enough and the situation calls for it.
- Excitement- This is the stuff you love and are excited to do again. You look forward to the next time you to experience this. This is the $60 steak that I only get once a year on my birthday.
This scale can be applied to almost anything because these are the three basic moods that we have towards things. We either refuse to do it, we are open to it, or are excited for it. When it comes to money and dating, there are three different ways that she might feel about your finances.
- You can’t meet her expectations.
- You can meet her expectations.
- You can exceed her expectations to a point where it would alter her life.
Most people reading this are 2’s. Women will have different standards depending on their upbringing and past experiences but most women will date a guy who simply has a career and a steady source of income. Just enough money to provide a normal lifestyle, or the lifestyle that she is accustomed to. This is why most guys end up with average jobs that provide a steady and predictable salary, women want to know you can meet the minimum requirements.
If you’re broke or if the women has high standards, you might be a 1. If this is the case you have two options: a) find a way to make more money b) find women with lower standards. Not a lot to discuss other than this. That minimum standard can vary widely, generally though most women are going to want to have a lifestyle that matches what they grew up with, even if they won’t admit it. The more money you make, the more women will be open to dating you.
The 3’s are the guys with enough money that it becomes the most notable and most interesting thing about them. This is not so say that having a lot of money makes you less interesting or less desirable in other areas, it just means the money will overshadow everything else. To be a 3, women need to feel that your money would change their lives. If you have a lot of money, women will be attracted to the idea that dating you would change their life, making you a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If you have money, you are in scarce supply which will make you valuable and attractive. Using money to attract women is a losing strategy though for most. If you think about it statistically, only a handful of guys get to be in the top one percent financially. The top one percent of household income in 2017 in the United States was $421,000. You likely need at least this much to become a 3 to most women. Also consider that the vast majority of those 1% earners are in their 50’s and 60’s and already married. This means there is a microscopic number of single men in their 20’s and 30’s making this type of money. Your odds of making that kind of money while you are still in the dating market is pretty low.
Unless you are already rich, don’t plan on your bank account being the secret weapon. Do plan on maintaining an attractive lifestyle. People want to be friends with and date people that they admire. For a few thousand dollars per year you can attend all sorts of interesting events, travel, and have a lot of fun. If you are a single guy in their 20’s or 30’s, the good news is that most other guys don’t make a lot of money. If you can develop a disposable income, you can afford all the fun and exciting dates you can handle.
There are countless other ways to attract women as well. Be fun, be happy, be yourself, be open to the woman who is looking for you.
For women looking to spot a rich guy, it’s pretty easy,
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